My family consists of the following:

1x moody and ever so slightly hysterical teenage girl (that’s me)

1x annoying baby brother

1x cute but exasperatingly crazy little sister,

As well as

2x austere parents,

Take those five people and you have a zoo. I found at that you don’t actually need the animals; you can charge people money to come and view your day. I’m actually considering it, it would be better than neighbours, home and away and Simpsons together, even though adult number one (that’d be Mum) says they rot your brain, but really, I have girlfriend and dolly magazines to do that. 

My little brother, who isn’t so little and could floor me in about five seconds flat shares Dad’s name and obsession, Brazilian Jui Jitsu. He is rapidly approaching his thirteenth birthday, and being generally scary with glares, and threats. We fight and argue a lot, one minute I’ll share part of my chocolate bar with him, and then next minute I’ll be trying to rip his head off with my finger nails, but even though I’ve been trying for over a year now I simply can’t figure out why it never works.

Mum goes out to her University lots, so on a good day we don’t see her at all. I called it Her University because, I swear, she spends more time there than I spend in front of the mirror, which is a lot. Mum loves some very odd music, Roger Whittaker, Simon and Garfunkel, and sometimes, in the middle of April you will walk into the kitchen to find Santa Clause is coming to town blaring out of the radio speakers.

The cute but domineering sister of mine is six years old, but you often forget her age, some times she seemed too old, make-up and lipstick and barbie dolls, and the next day crying and wanting kisses and cuddles. She is incredibly cute, long, blonde hair, freckles over her nose and cheeks, and a smile that melts your heart, until she opens her mouth, and starts whining, or even worse screaming, believe me; if there was a world cup screaming competition she’d win it.

Dad is the rule-enforcing-parent, who will make your life hell if you break one of his key qualities, but other wise, Dad is like Mr Incredible out of the Incredibles, nice, and can be involved, but a bit distracted, but could probably win Dad of the year if we entered him. I can’t say more because this is his blog and Dad will probably tear my limbs off one at a time, and then barbeque them with our brand new barbeque, and then serve it at the grand final day. Okay, not really, but anyway. . .

Me? I’m beautiful, talented, wise, smart, gorgeous, endearing, and last but not least, modest. Okay, that’s not all true, but most of it is. I can be a bit bitchy, when I want to be but overall I’m okay (I hope). All my family but me are football fanatics, but the second the subject comes up the first words I say are ‘football’s stupid.” I like to make my opinions clear.

My head hurts, no more writing now! Uhh, okay, eldest daughter of evil guy signing off now.